That Essence

We  live in modern era, as the generations of technology. We are surrounded by smartphones. We cannot avoid this technology development. Also, we cannot avoid admitting that this technology, all these machines have been a part of our life. It seems like we cannot live without them. We should admit that we are now being controlled by all these machines we create and we master.

Every second, every single minute, every breath we take, we are always surrounded and connected to these machines, especially our smartphones. But, is this the essence of using all these machines? Is this the essence of using smartphones and being some dumb robots? Sometimes it makes me sick to realize that this new age has changed our behavior. All these machines makes us often act like some anti-social persons. We all are just spoiled by all these technologies. We just accept all the things without filtering them first.

It annoys me when I have to see that I'm surrounding by the people who always look down at their smartphones whenever, wherever they go, and whoever they are with. In class, for example, it really annoys me to see that some of my friends are giving more attention to their smartphones than to the lecture. I'm not saying that I'm that perfect and never do that, no! I admit that I sometimes do that too, but now I realize how to manage my time, to realize and be aware which one is more important and place it in my first priority. I try to respect my lecturers when they give the lecture and stay away from my smartphone for awhile. It's okay. I'm still alive even though I stay away from that little thing for awhile. What in my mind is that I believe I should be respectful when somebody is talking. It will be hurt for them if they are talking or explaining something and no one is listening. It happens to us, too, doesn't it? Just try to imagine if you are in their shoes, what will you feel? Also, you have payed the fee of each lecture, so don't waste it away. I understand that sometimes it is very very and so damn boring, but, dude! Please, just stay at that moment for only at least two hours. It won't kill you. If I were you and just play with my gadgets, don't listen in the class, I'd rather not to attend the class.

It happens not only in class. It happens when we say we want to meet our God at church. It does annoy me cause, hey, dude! It's at church now and could you please just stay away from your parasite for awhile? You won't die, I tell you! Sometimes it's harder to separate a person from their smartphone than from their girlfriend/boyfriend. I can say this because I often experience it. It often sucks me, you know! LOL. I'm rather confused how can God say something to you when all you do during the sermon is just looking down at your smartphone? How can you listen what God wants from you? Or are you not listening during the sermon at all? It could be because you keep looking down and keep yourself busy with it. :p

People are now losing the essence of being presence. They forget or maybe pretend to forget the essence of going to church. It's not to listen to God anymore, but it's to sit beautifully in the chair and keep looking down at their stuff which they call as smartphone. They who have lost the essence of being presence is just come and go home without getting something.

In class. They are losing the essence of being there. They who have lost it just do the same as they who are at church always look down. They just sit beautifully in class, sign in the presence list, and listen to nothing.

I think we should be more aware to this condition. Be a smart user, don't be a stupid user. Listen when you have to, and just leave that thing we call as smartphone for awhile.

I Know There Are Stalkers

Before I write this story, I knew there would be many spies or we now like to call 'em as stalkers who would read my writings. I have known there will be many stalkers read this. But, who cares? Do I? No, I don't!
This time, I would like to share about my random feelings (such an anger in some ways). I would try to share what I feel by explaining a song from Paramore, titled Misery Business. I would elaborate what this song says to me.

"Misery Business"

(hit that, hit that snare)

I'm in the business of misery,
Let's take it from the top.
She's got a body like an hourglass, it's ticking like a clock.
It's a matter of time before we all run out,
When I thought he was mine she caught him by the mouth.

Line 1 and 2 suits in my feelings. For me, these lines try to say that the author is in a problem and she's gonna take it from her point of view. Line 4 and 5 also suits in me. In line 4, she wants to say that every matter has its own timing. We all have our time; starting time, and finishing time. In line 5, she wants to say at first, she thought the guy was hers, but unfortunately there was another girl who stole him only by the mouth! Maybe, that girl was trying to speak ill of her to the guy, in order to get his attention or to make him stay away from her slowly but sure.

I waited eight long months,
She finally set him free.
I told him I couldn't lie he was the only one for me.
Two weeks we caught on fire,
She's got it out for me,
But I wear the biggest smile.

Line 9-11 speak something to me. These girls are in quarrel but in silent quarrel. Both of them just try to hide each of their feeling. The causing-problem girl just makes the trouble and she is also somehow a hypocrite. She points at the girl that she is the one who is the trouble maker. However, she only gives smile to the causing-problem girl! Who cares? I do not start the fire, why should I extinguish it?

Whoa, I never meant to brag.
But I got him where I want him now.
Whoa, it was never my intention to brag
To steal it all away from you now.
But God does it feel so good,
'Cause I got him where I want him now.
And if you could then you know you would.
'Cause God it just feels so...
It just feels so good.

Second chances they don't ever matter, people never change.
Once a whore you're nothing more, I'm sorry, that'll never change.
And about forgiveness, we're both supposed to have exchanged.
I'm sorry honey, but I passed it up, now look this way.
Well there's a million other girls who do it just like you.
Looking as innocent as possible to get to who,
They want and what they like, it's easy if you do it right.
Well I refuse, I refuse, I refuse!

I watched his wildest dreams come true
Not one of them involving you
Just watch my wildest dreams come true
Not one of them involving...

Priority

Acknowledging that I'm already 19 is easy, but acknowledging my maturity is difficult. Moreover if I link the maturity with life priority. I'm of course 19 and single still. Sometimes some people ask why I am still single, why I do not get a boyfriend, etc. Sometimes some people advice me to place my study first (as my priority) and I should not think about having boyfriend first (not to think about it too much) because they say that your soul mate will come in the right place and in the right time. So, do not worry too much. Do not make yourself in hurry. And I do think that this is right!

I am very thankful that God has opened my mind and my eyes widely. Now, I realize that my study is much more important rather than to think about having boyfriend and to keep my mind busy searching or looking for a boy (I say this because I was always busy thinking of a boy). When I am thinking of this, I remember one thing. I even have not given my best yet in my study (in the condition-I'm single now). What will it be if I am not single? Maybe I cannot concentrate in my study. Maybe I cannot focus well. Moreover if I and my boy have quarrel. It sucks. It kills me and my study well. LOL.

I am very grateful to have a very-very educated family. They are all educated and surely think of the future. I'm glad that my family, especially my mother never rushes me to have a boyfriend (I say this because some parents does, and some others are normative. This is the fact in our society). Instead of rushing me, she encourages me a lot to finish my study in time first, do and give my best, reach my dreams, and gain many achievements as much as you can. She always encourages her children that we are smart, beautiful, and good girls. God has given the best for each of us. So, she said, why are you being so worried about this or that? The thing is not as difficult as you think. You don't need to worry about a little thing, just like having a boyfriend or not or are you beautiful enough or not. Every matter has its time. Don't be rush! :)

A Panic Woman

Yesterday, I was asked by my close friend to write a little story (description perhaps) about herself in my blog. So, I just write down here. Lol. I hope you can enjoy the story of herself.

Let's begin with a little introduction. I'm confused whether I should mention her name or not, but I think it is more appropriate if I do not mention her real name since it is her privacy, Lol. So I will change her name here with an initial, D. So, I know D because she is my classmate and we were in the same group of Letters Faculty Initiation of 2013. D is from Kebumen, Central Java. It is quite near to my hometown, Purwokerto. She has Ngapak accent, same with me. Maybe this is the reason why we are close enough. Hahaha.. My friends and I often call her "Boss Ngapak" since she has very very Ngapak accent. You should know that her accent is more dangerous than my accent. Lol. She has a thin and tall body. Her hair is wave and not short. She has shrill voice. Her voice is very very useful to drive us crazy and mad when she starts to be rempong (worrying, complaining about something over and over again).

She is a very helpful friend, honestly. She never minds helping us when we need her help. Once, when I was sick, I asked her to accompany me to see the doctor and she did accompany me (thanks a lot, D, anyway! XD). She is funny, silly, crazy, ridiculous, smart and absolutely a panic woman!

First, she is funny, silly, crazy, and ridiculous. Why do I say this? 'Cause, she sometimes do something that never comes up in our minds. We never think of it, but she does! Let me take some examples. She often feels that her boarding room is small and full of stuff, but she keeps bringing unimportant stuff to her room and buying something that will fill the space in her room, makes it more narrower. Another example is what she wants are so many. She wants this stuff, that stuff, those, these, and eveything. Hahhaa... She also often wants something (usually food, specific food) like a pregnant woman (in Indonesia, we call it ngidam), she must follow that desire, and she must get what she wants no matter what. Hehehe. This was quite silly when she wanted to move to another room in her boarding house and she was really really confused how to say it to her boarding house owner. She felt like she was worried to be so annoying for the owner. My friends and I encouraged her to just say it, say what you want, and it is alright to say. But she kept confusing herself. Hahaha...

Second, she is a smart girl, of course! I can say this because she has ever told me when she was still in High School, she had a bad experience. It happened in the evening (if I am not wrong, XD). She was riding her motorcycle, and she realized that she was being followed by some motorcycles riding by bad boys. She was actually panic, but she was smart enough because she had a strategic to deceive them. She turned right without giving directional signals. This deceived them because the boys thought she would not go ahead and not turn right. In our daily life, she often gives us a brilliant idea (although sometimes it is a silly idea, but it’s okay) to solve a problem.

The last, she is absolutely a panic woman. I have a little story about her. Once, she was alone in her boarding house, she was afraid of something she had seen. She did not know whether it was a cat, a person, or ghost, but she was totally panic. I still remember it was around 10 p.m. when she chatted me on facebook, asking for my help. She wanted to stay for a night in my boarding house because she was totally mad. You know, she kept talking about it over and over again. Another one is quite secret. It is a matter related to a friend (fellas, you know what I mean). Every time D meets that girl, D will be panic and warn us to be careful because it is like "she is everywhere, she is looking for you-you-and-you, you all will be her victims, etc., etc". The other one is she is often worried about her appearance, her fashion, her make-up, everything that fits on her. Once she was very rempong. She complained about something wrong with her lips since the day before she ate unripe mango, and she felt it’s sap made her lips dry, not moist. But in fact, there was nothing wrong with her lips. It was just her worry. Hahaha...

I will just close this story with this one. Instead of calling her freak, my friends and I call her unique. She is the one and only. I have never met people that so rempong like her. Hahaha.. Thank you for our friendship :)

Kisah Seorang Tukang Becak Tua

                Pagi ini aku teringat akan sebuah pengalaman yang cukup menyentuh hatiku. Nggak tau kenapa, aku jadi pingin nge-share pengalamanku di blog. Kejadian ini aku alamin beberapa bulan yang lalu, waktu aku masih liburan di kampung halamanku, Purwkerto. Waktu itu, aku sekeluarga baru selesai ibadah di sebuah gereja Kristen di Purwokerto. Kami sekeluarga nggak langsung pulang. Kami menunggu agak lama di dalam gereja karena ada keperluan. Sementara kami sekeluarga masih berada di dalam gereja, orang2 yang lain sudah berhambur keluar gereja dan bergegas pulang. Beberapa masih keliatan asyik ngobrol di dalam gereja, ada juga yang asyik ngobrol di luar. Setelah keperluan kami selesai, kami bergegas keluar gereja menuju parkiran mobil di depan gereja. Suasana di halaman gereja dan parkiran sudah sepi, tidak ada satu jemaat pun yang masih tinggal. Ketika kami sekeluarga berjalan menuju mobil, datanglah dua orang pria menghampiri kami. Yang satu masih agak muda, dia adalah tukang parkir. Yang satunya sudah tua dan dia adalah tukang becak.

                Si tukang becak tersebut segera menawari kami tumpangan. Katanya, “becak, mbak?” Lalu aku cuma tersenyum sambil menggeleng. Setelah aku berlalu, papaku lah yang ditawarinya tumpangan. Katanya, “becak, boss?” Papaku menolak, “mboten, pak.” Aku merasa iba dan kasihan melihat si tukang becak yang sudah tua itu tidak mendapat penumpang. Dia terlihat sudah tua dan berbaju alakadarnya. Becaknya pun sudah tua sama seperti orangnya dan penampilan fisik dari becaknya sudah jelek, sudah penuh tambal-tambalan, sudah tidak menarik seperti becak-becak lainnya. Secara manusiawi, aku bisa ‘ngerasain’ gimana rasanya jadi tukang becak yang nawarin jasanya sama orang terakhir yang keluar dari gereja, tapi akhirnya ditolak. Aku lihat ada kekecewaan di wajah bapak itu dan itu pasti. Aku bisa ngerasain hopelessnya dia gimana. Sekeliling gereja sudah sepi, sudah tidak ada lagi jemaat yang masih tinggal di gereja. Sekeliling gereja pun sudah tidak ada lagi tukang becak yang ‘berburu’ penumpang. Hanya dialah satu-satunya tukang becak yang masih ‘berburu’ penumpang di gereja. Dan ketika dia menghampiri kami, kami pun menolak menggunakan jasa becaknya karena kami sudah membawa kendaraan pribadi.

                Aku sempat bergumul dengan hati kecilku, apakah sebaiknya aku memberikan uang di kantongku, yang memang tidak banyak, hanya 20ribu rupiah kepada tukang becak tersebut secara cuma-cuma atau tidak. Ketika sudah di dalam mobilpun aku masih bergumul. Aku bingung. Ternyata yang merasakan pergumulan itu bukan hanya aku, tapi mama dan papaku juga. Mamaku mengambil inisiatif untuk memberi uang kepada tukang becak tersebut uang secara Cuma-Cuma. Mama meminta papa memberikan 20ribu rupiah ke tukang becak tersebut.  Tukang becak itu terlihat sangat gembira ketika diberi uang oleh papa secara Cuma-Cuma.

                Setelah aku merenungkan pengalaman pribadiku ini, ada banyak hal yang aku dapat. Pertama, menolong orang lain, membuat dan melihat orang lain bahagia karena bantuan atau kehadiran kita ternyata sungguh2 touching.So, jangan ragu untuk membantu atau menolong orang yang benar-benar membutuhkan, apalagi jika orang tersebut ada di depan kita. Jujur, aku menyesal karena aku nggak langsung ambil inisiatif pada saat itu juga untuk memberikan tukang becak tersebut uang sakuku. Yang kedua, kalau kita pingin menolong orang, nggak usah yang memikirkan yang jauh-jauh dulu. Karena apa? Karena justru banyak sekali orang di sekitar kita yang membutuhkan pertolongan dari kita, tetapi kehadiran mereka yang ada di dekat kita, justru sering membuat mereka terlupakan. Kita terlalu sering memikirkan yang jauh-jauh. Padahal kita lupa, kalau di sekitar kita justru banyak sekali orang-orang yang membutuhkan pertolongan kita supaya berkat dan Kabar Gembira itu tidak hanya berhenti di diri kita, melainkan mereka pun dapat merasakan berkat dan Kabar Gembira dari Tuhan melalui diri kita.

                HAPPY WEEKEND!! GOD BLESS YOU ALL.