POSSESSIVE

What comes first into your mind when you hear this word? I bet you immediately think of a person who always forbids her/his boyfriend/girlfriend to do something, go with someone/friends, etc. This type of person usually wanna know (very2 curious and sometimes their action annoys very much) of what she/he doing or where she/he going and with who. Why do a lot of people do this? My answer (based on my opinion and experience) is because they think they have rights to know in order to control her/his action, so she/he cannot act against them, do something their bf/gf doesn't like or do something they are not supposed to do. People in this situation is totally, absolutely, exactly under someone else control. Some of them will not protest but some will.

I have been in there situation honestly :p Do you ever think that it happens not only between two person who are falling in love or in a relationship but it often happens between parents and children. As parents, they absolutely have rights to control and keep their children even to direct them to something good. It's not only their privilege but also their duty and responsibility as parents even though sometimes they too much 'care' and make too much intervention to the children's private life. This is what I often see in the real life. Let's say, children wanna do something and parents do not agree with their choice of act. Parents are being authoritative. If they say "no", then the children MUST obey them no matter how or whether they like it/not. This is good only for a while. I bet this will not last for a long time because children will try to find a way to manipulate. They will find a way to deceive their parents. And I'm so sorry to say this... parents are often fooled by their children not because they are stupid or fool literally but because of their authority, the wrong authority. Let's make a good example that happens very very often in our daily life. There's a girl who is forbidden to have a boyfriend by her parents. Her parents want her to study first, to be the best in her talent, to be succeed, not to waste the time or to think too much of a boy. This is a good purpose, of course.. Who doesn't want the children to be succeed? But the way her parents give the rule is false. Parents are too much authoritative, stiff and make too much intervention that annoys her very much. Seeing there are a lot of her friends have boyfriend, she becomes envy (oh c'mon, this is normal, huh? XD).

Negotiation with parents will not make the deal. It will be all useless. She knows it! What will she do? Backstreet relationship will be the answer. She won't tell her parents, only tell her friends and we should have known and think ahead that the effects of the wrong authority is parallel. Parallel here means that her first action to deceive or escape from her parents' grip will cause something that's not good for herself. And that something will again cause another thing in the future. One thing causes another thing.

I think as parents, they should give more freedom to their children, allow them to decide something they think good for them but do not forget to advise them too. By giving children more freedom and not trammel them, they will know what should they do with their freedom. By giving this, children will know that freedom they have has limit. However, children themselves must be down to earth, they must conceive that they are under their parents' control still, and they must respect their parents. Having more freedom does not mean that they are totally free, free to do anything they want even though their action will harm someone else and themselves. No, freedom is not like that. Why I dare enough to write and give the suggestion like this, because it's based on my own experience. My parents, especially my mother gives me so much freedom. She lets me do anything I want. Why does she do this? Because she believes by giving me more freedom, I will be more responsible since I will understand the limit of freedom and I can learn how to keep someone's trusty. Have I misapplied her trusty? No, I haven't :)

I Have Learned

There's something that comes to my mind lately. I've been a college student for a year and I've met so many people. So many with so many kind of characters. At first, I thought it was alright and normal because I have been told I would meet so many people from different background, ethnic, social class, etc but I never thought that I would feel discomfort. For a year, I did not meet any obstacle making friend with 'em. But now, I must say to myself, I must admit that I'm in a challenging situation.

I am faced with so many people that I definitely do not like. I don't like their behavior, attitude and habit. When I talked to my mom that I don't like them, she taught me to understand this life, what this life is going to be and what life wants to teach you. She said to me (again) I will meet those kind of people in the future and I have to face them! I have to control myself to go through the challenging situation like this. I have learned that life is not going to be alright always. There a time you will meet and face the people you definitely do not like. But it's the time to challenge yourself, to prove yourself that you can go through this situation well. Sometimes, you need to see what beautiful from this life from the situation like this. You need to see from another point of view. I'm sure if you and I can do this, we will get the point (what should we do, how should we act or re-act). :) I think it's enough for today reflection. Lol. :)

How Important The First Impression Is

Last few days, I went to a food stall with my two friends. They were Yo and Na (Initial names. XD). When we arrived at the food stall, the seller looked unfriendly. She did not smile sweetly to us and her face looked in bad mood. Then, after we finished eating our breakfast, Yo said to me that she did not like the seller because of her behavior. Yo complained to me that the seller really really unfriendly. I replied to Yo, telling her that the seller was actually a moody woman. When she feels happy, she smiles all the way, she even sings beautifully and happily while serving the customers. But when she doesn't, do not expect her to smile or behave to you. LOL.

Nah, from this occurrence, I learned that the first impression is really important. This determines how others will appreciate us, how others will judge our behavior/attitude, and how others will think of us. So, be as good as you are, especially for the first time meeting someone because they will not forget that first impression you give. Whether it is good or bad, it's up to you. Good night, guys! :)

I Do Need God

Today, I'm gonna share what I have been feeling lately. I admit that I have lost my intimacy time with God for a quite long time. That happened because of a life problem which disappointed me very much and I thought I was right enough to turn away from God and made my own way. But this definitely wrong! I was wrong. This action made me getting worse because I wasn't connected to God, I did not feel His mercy anymore. My life was flat and empty. I was losing my hope and I often thought there was no way to solve my problems. I was alone, in fact. Then, today, that worst feeling came to me. I felt alone, lonely, lonesome, hopeless, I saw everything only in their bad sides. It sucks! But, once again (I repeat what people say) God is good. He knocked my heart, He resuscitated me that I need Him. So, I set up my intimacy time again with Him and He makes me feel good. So, whoever read my words, wherever you are, if you feel lonely, alone and no one can help you, just remember that God is always with you. All you need to do is come to Him, pray, and set up your intimacy time with Him. God bless you. Thank God :)